What needs to be said, anyway?

There is an ancient story of a city who had no conflict when it came to communication. They always understood each other and were always in agreement. In unity they decided to build a tower to reach heaven in an effort to make themselves like God. And, despite their archaic technology, they began to do so. As God looked upon these people, He recognized that as long as they were in unity there was nothing they could not accomplish. Unfortunately, such unity led to arrogance toward God and the rest of humanity. So, God stopped their work. How? By confusing their language. He didn’t have to lift one violent finger against the tower or the people. All he had to do was make it so they couldn’t understand one another. The work was stopped, and the people were scattered.

How often do we set out to build something together: a family, a business, a church, a community. And then one day the work is stopped, and the people are scattered. Why? Not enough money? Not advanced enough technology? Not good enough ideas? Not enough time? Those might be factors, but the reason they are not overcome is probably a more fundamental problem. At some point, interests are divided, unity is lost, and people regularly feel misunderstood.

Communication is used for a lot of different things, from creating practical strategies to dreaming about improbable futures. But underlying it all, the real foundation to communicating well is unity.

What needs to be said, or not said, to make sure we are moving forward together?

If both sides of every conversation would strive to satisfy that one question as a primary part of their communication, well, who knows what could be built. I know there are a lot of fancy apps and weekend retreats and promising workshops (like the one I offer) you can spend money on to improve your communication on your team. But here is the thing: if they don’t help you fix the unity problem, they will all fall flat of expectations.

It’s not how much money you spend. It’s what you are willing to sacrifice to get on the same page.

The primary purpose of communicating is to create unity. The rest is, as they say, the icing on top.